Stigma blocked my ability to feel valued as a real person in our society; I felt that people saw me as trashy and my body as damaged goods. Feelings like that are reinforced when society judges teen moms for not marrying or staying with their partners. And too many of us are conditioned to accept a predestined fate of poverty and failure. These are the ways in which stigma creeps into our lives and rarely leaves us. The pervasive messages about how harmful teen pregnancy is and how promiscuous and irresponsible teen moms are, a characterization rarely used to describe teen fathers, promote discrimination in the very places teen parents should feel safe, like our doctors’ offices and our schools.
[CW mention of abuse and rape]
“Why are you depressed?” my mother asked me when I responded truthfully instead of lying with a simple, “I’m doing fine.” […] And then more men used my body like a glove and they used my kindness as a balm for their own wounds, and they used the home I made for myself to shelter their needs, and then I kept trying and it got harder.
"Boys know by late adolescence that their close male friendships, and even their emotional acuity, put them at risk of being labeled girly, immature, or gay," Way writes. "Thus, rather than focusing on who they are, they become obsessed with who they are not — they are not girls, little boys nor, in the case of heterosexual boys, are they gay."
Kylie-Anne Kelly can’t remember the exact moment she became her boyfriend’s one and only, his what would I do without you, but she does remember neglecting her own needs to the point of hospitalization.
[…]
After three years together, when exhaustion and anxiety landed her in the hospital and her boyfriend claimed he was “too busy” to visit, they broke up.
Black mamas are sitting in prison awaiting trial for being too free. For bringing Black children into a world that fears and punishes them. For writing bad checks to feed their kids. For defending themselves in a world that assaults them daily. For protecting their family members. For crimes they haven’t even been tried for—with bails set too high for their families to pay—forced to wait while the court system pressures them to take guilty pleas for crimes they didn’t commit so they can go home on probation.
What time is it? It’s time to get them out.
Is Guys Gender-Neutral?
Short answer: No. It simply is not gender-neutral, especially when men say it to a mixed group. The dictionary is wrong. Real people don’t use it neutrally in the real world.
Why didn't she just get out of there as soon as she felt uncomfortable? many people explicitly or implicitly asked.
It's a rich question, and there are plenty of possible answers. But if you're asking in good faith, if you really want to think through why someone might have acted as she did, the most important one is this: Women are enculturated to be uncomfortable most of the time. And to ignore their discomfort.
This is so baked into our society I feel like we forget it's there.
Dans nos sociétés contemporaines, le couple est célébré, sanctifié, convoité. Il représente une sorte de Graal à atteindre, tout en s’imposant comme la configuration de vie « par défaut », comme si tous les êtres humains allaient forcément par paires. C’est aussi une valeur refuge. L’injonction « au couple » est donc particulièrement forte, même si l’on observe des variations selon les milieux sociaux. Mais les hommes et les femmes ne sont pas égaux face à cette injonction. En effet, les femmes sont beaucoup plus incitées, et ce depuis leur plus jeune âge, à faire des relations amoureuses un but premier – quitte pour cela à sacrifier leur épanouissement personnel, et à mettre leurs aspirations en sourdine. L’ombre du Prince charmant plane au-dessus des têtes féminines comme le but ultime à atteindre, comme s’il était impossible d’être complète, « valable », sans un partenaire à ses côtés.
Pour une femme dans cette société sexiste, être indépendante signifie qu’on ne peut être une femme – on est une gouine. Ceci devrait en soi nous éclairer sur la situation des femmes. Ce que cela dit, aussi clairement que possible, c’est que les mots femme et personne sont contradictoires. Car une lesbienne n’est pas considérée comme une vraie femme. Et pourtant, dans l’imaginaire collectif, la seule différence essentielle entre une lesbienne et les autres femmes, c’est celle de l’orientation sexuelle. Ce qui revient à dire, au fond, que l’essence de la condition de femme est d’être baisée par les hommes.
In every ancient society where beer existed, the craft was created and carried out by women. Often, they even received their instruction from goddesses they conjugated with for life. There’s no mythology in which a male god gifts brewing instructions to humanity, and no mythology in which a man receives brewing instructions from a deity. It’s always goddesses and it’s always women brewers.
Chelsea G. Summers considers the ways in which outwardly ‘progressive’ men like former Attorney General Eric Schneiderman use kink as a cover for abuse.
Violet is at home with her daughter and boyfriend when she hears a knock at the door. She opens it to find five police officers and a social worker. “They went through our laundry, our bag of adult toys, all of our cupboards,” she tells me over the phone. “They said that my mom called and told them that I am a prostitute and that I am subjecting my daughter to it.”
The woke misogynist is a guy who talks a big game about gender equality and consent, uses vocabulary like “triggering” without rolling his eyes, wears a pussy hat to the Women’s March, prefers to fuck feminists and may freely call himself one, too—then turns around and harasses you, assaults you, or belittles you.
Il faut faire attention à ne pas traiter un calling out envers un·e non-mec cis, en particulier une personne trans, de la même manière qu’envers un mec cis, car cela veut dire l’isoler complètement : si on sort cette personne de tous les milieux trans, où va-t-elle aller ? Si on isole cette personne, on la pousse au suicide tout simplement. En utilisant le calling out on l’expose de plus au lynchage collectif qui sera bien plus dur à encaisser que pour un mec cis du fait qu’elle ne sera soutenue par personne ou presque. On est dans la vengeance, dans la justice punitive.
The overwhelming evidence suggests that Shermer, according to Zvan, is a predator. “But what we get instead from skeptics,” she said, “what they’re calling ‘skepticism’ is them trying to pick apart the story of that evening and saying, ‘Well, this little tiny detail doesn’t make sense,’ as in it does make sense in their head—that it’s not the way they think the story should go. And that’s not skepticism.”
Toute ressemblance avec certaines personnes se revendiquant de la « zététique » est purement « fortuit »
How many deliberate, premeditated lies, how many carefully set traps, how many instances of deceit do we need before we can admit that men are every bit as duplicitous and two-faced as women are suspected of being? That harassment is not an accident? That predation requires planning? That this gigantic apparatus through which women's careers are destroyed and men's are preserved isn't just happenstance?
Generally speaking, no. As others have already said, studies of sentencing show that women usually get shorter sentences than men for the same types of crime.
There is one exception, however. Women who kill or commit violence against male intimate partners usually receive longer sentences than men who kill or commit violence against female intimate partners, even in self-defense.
Every woman you know has been sexually harassed in some way. Every single one. Yes, your mom. Yes, your wife. Yes, your great-aunt Edna. ESPECIALLY your great-aunt Edna. For the most part, women learn how to deftly avoid men who lean into them too forcefully on public transport, the guy who not only catcalls us on the street, but follows us for two blocks, trying to provoke a reaction, the boss who we’ve been warned to never, ever be alone with. It’s part of how we learn to navigate the world.
He’d been my boyfriend four months already, though we became friends when I was 14 and he was 21. It was two years since we met, and I thought I knew him well.
Our analysis suggests that the difference in promotion rates between men and women in this company was due not to their behavior but to how they were treated. This indicates that arguments about changing women’s behavior — to “lean-in,” for example — might miss the bigger picture: Gender inequality is due to bias, not differences in behavior.
Bias, as we define it, occurs when two groups of people act identically but are treated differently.
There can be no real change until there is a reckoning. Men must come to grips with the fact that all men are a part of a toxic fraternity. And it’s not like this toxic fraternity hasn’t been called out. We’re familiar with phrases like “men are trash,” often stated by women or femmes who have routinely been on the receiving end of inexcusably despicable and dangerous behavior perpetrated by men.
Every day I’m trying to counter the flood of messaging my sons are receiving from television, music, movies, books, friends, and our own government that says that they have a right to a woman’s body. Every day I’m trying to counter the flood of messaging that my sons are receiving that says that overcoming a woman’s objections is romantic. Every day I’m trying to counter the flood of messaging that tells them that their manhood is defined by how many women they can have sex with. […] And every day I’m reminding them that they are responsible for their actions.
« Assholegaters demand to be seen simultaneously as a 70-million-strong market force, too big for the industry to ignore, and as a persecuted minority. »
« There’s a fundamental lack of empathy or understanding for other human beings at play here. These people live in a fucked-up alternate universe where everything is done for the lulz, or to win points in some kind of psychopathic game of one-upmanship. »
Une meuf raconte comment les vidéos d'Anita Sarkeesian lui ont ouvert les yeux.